What is the biggest mistake when writing Descriptions?
How to write a description! Okay, so one of the BIGGEST mistakes I see students making all the time is that they end up writing a shopping list not a description.
So, what do I even mean by that?
Firstly, when we write a description, it can be so tempting to just dive right in and get going. I understand how nerve-wracking exams can be! There is nothing more frightening than a blank page and a clock counting down! However, when we are in this situation we can often end up simply listing everything in the picture or the scene. We are eager to just get started and WRITE SOMETHING. That’s when we end up writing a shopping list rather than a description! When you come to the end of your description, you realise you haven’t actually explained what anything looks like, you’ve just written a long list of everything in the picture! No one wants that!
So…I’m going to give you three simple ways to make sure that description ends up being a description and not a list!
1 – Use Imagery in your Description
Imagery is an amazing technique. It basically means describing what things look like in so much detail we can picture them in our minds. When you’re describing an object, think to yourself – can my readers really picture this? Have you described the colours, shapes, textures, size, age, style?
Example 1
“The sea lapped gently on the shore. Children were playing on the beach and the sun was shining.”
Wow, okay so firstly this student has managed to describe three things in less than two sentences – a key sign that you’re probably writing a list. We don’t know anything about the sea other than the fact it is lapping on the shore, which every sea does…right?
These students often struggle with descriptive writing and run out of things to write about after the first three sentences, because they’ve already described everything…or so they think!
So, how can we make sure our description is longer and actually allows the reader to picture it?
Example 2
“The ocean glimmered below the sky like glass, reflecting the slow movement of the white, gentle clouds above. The transparent turquoise water exposed an array of colour as exotic fish and coral danced elegantly in synchronisation, whirling round into a kaleidoscope of colour. Ferociously and fearlessly, the warm tropical waters gathered into a crescendo of white foam which tore through the sky, violently crashing against the rocky coastline with a bang.”
This second description adds much more detail and really allows us to picture this in our minds clearly!
2 – Describe the Senses
Imagery is great but why stop there? Sight is only one of our five senses. Therefore, what about the sounds, tastes, textures and smells? In real life, sight only makes up a small percentage of our experience of the world and this is the same for descriptive writing! Most importantly, it can also add to the tone and mood in incredible ways!
Let’s check out an example!
Example
“As they approached the haunted house, they were struck by the stench of rotting decay which ricocheted through the forest, bouncing off the trees and dispersing through the air. Tentatively, they continued their approach as the ground below them subsided and softened like the earth was about to swallow them up. The sound of silence was deafening, only pierced occasionally by the sudden creaking of branches.”
We haven’t really said that much about the setting yet but look how much we’ve managed to write by just looking at the sounds, smells and textures! Descriptive writing is easy when you know what to write about…it’s pretty hard when you list everything in the picture in your first sentence!
3 – Use some Language Devices
Last but definitely not least, we have the language devices. These are created when we combine words into fancy combinations such as starting each word with the same letter (alliteration). You’ve probably been told to use these for years but it’s SO EASY to forget when we’re actually writing!
I promise you, using language devices will transform your grades and will allow you write much more!
Some of our fan favourites include: similes, metaphors, personification, alliteration, onomatopoeia and oxymorons.
Let’s have a look at these superstars in action!
Example
“Like a howl that came from deep within the earth’s crust, the thunder exploded and echoed through the skies like Zeus was casting his wrath upon the world. Crashing and catapulting down, the heavens opened and nails of water began to fall down rapidly from the sky onto a world ill-prepared for this battle.”
To learn more about language devices check out my free eBook – My top 5 Language Devices!
And that’s a wrap folks! I hope that has given you some more ideas to help you when writing descriptions! Remember that structure is also REALLY important when it comes to writing a description so check out my blog post on how to structure your description. To learn more check out the AQA mark scheme here! Next time you’re writing one, remember – is this a description or a shopping list?